Where Is The Edge...? Whispers by Mau ~ The Dreamer In Tears , 11.3.11 at 9:41, in

I wonder where that fine line that divides thins really ends. Can't stop those thoughts in my head... I can't help feel controlled by someone who's no me, and who really doesn't know me...
I keep wondering if it's love or lust what he feels for me. Makes me dizzy whenever he says that my career is stupid, that the music I like is not suitable for him, that the way I see life is nonsence, when he talks about the kind of friends I have, when he says... my own self is all that he agrees not. But still he says he loves me.
Can't help wondering what does he really loves of me? can someone really be in love for just the so-called personality? i dobut it most of the time...
Sometimes he shows he will never let me go, he shows how much he wants me to stay with him forever, and sometimes he shows me how easy is to get rid of me, and it scares me once again as I do have feelings for him, and I will break my heart to lose him. Because I love what he is, I even love what I don't like because that's what makes him be who he is. His words have left a wound in me, and it still hurts and makes me scared...
I'm not afraid of losing him, I'm afraid of the pain I will feel if I do... I know it too well, I know how much it takes for my heart to heal, and the change scares me even more: who will I become? how different the rest of the people will be towards me once this story is over? how much will I lose and what will I gain?
How long will I stand feeling like this? I don't know if I will be able to keep the balance standing in this line, I'm afraid of falling and which side I will fall into...
I am so so afraid, I can't even see what's right and what's wrong?

"No mortal can ever tame a mermaid,
for mermaids lack of a soul and human emotions,
but instead they have a freedom of a kind
no one can understand... a kind of freedom
that simply destroys mortal hearts..."


Nocturne Mermaid by ~Asumaria on deviantART